Backsliding

I had never had "breakup sex" before, and I do have to say... it is quite nice. Definitely not the healthiest of ways to end things, but any cardio is good cardio, right? I backslid; I saw my ex and he spent the night. I wanted to for selfish, hopeful, lustful reasons— you name it, I validated it as a good reason. I don't regret it, but it's frustrating knowing you fit so well with a person, you love that person, they check off all the weird quarks you desire in a hadron, I mean person: do they use puns and enjoy yours? ✔ Enjoy trivia? ✔ Can they wear pink proud and manly? ✔ Do you love sleeping on their chest? ✔  I could go on and on from the vague to the specific, but at the end of the day allowing him back didn't mean I got a second chance; just another hour.

I knew I should have stretched beforehand and pulled out the showstoppers!

A part of me wants to be like, "Fun buddies 4eva? I made bracelets!" But there's that big part of me that would always want more and question, "How I could love someone so much and feel like they're perfect for me, when they don't feel the same way?" Then you have to ask yourself, how much do you fight for a person and when does it become creepy and stalkerish? Do I ignore the signs (yes, I believe in signs) that brought me to that person, like seeing his exact car and color (it’s a very distinct color!) drive past me as I think of him? How when he asked me out on our first date, I just so happened to be Googling the venue he was referring? How am I supposed to ignore stuff like that? Also, he’s definitely reading this and thinking I’m insane. Lose big, or go home! Yup, definitely walking home now.

Anyways, still trying to move on: I went on a date! (God, please help me if anyone I date enters my name into Google). Also, if you are a potential suitor, just know if you break my heart, I'll probably write about it. I’m going to have souvenir shirts made: "Got written about on Thoughtfulwish." You get a t-shirt, I get some new material, win-win. FYI, the date had great conversation but he just wasn't that into me: story of my life. It's OK though, not in a rush to find Prince Charming yet, and trying not to spiral in the dark thoughts of "oh crap, it is me!"

Besides the dating-stratosphere, I'm loving my new job (my team is awesome), I visited friends in NYC (where I shot these photos), saw Mean Girls on Broadway (it was OK, nothing spectacular— bummer—let me know if you want to hear my review!), and I'm mainly trying to stay extremely busy and not think about breakup sex. All in all, life may be on the upswing.

Also, speaking of "backsliding:" Dear Winter, just stop, time to move on, time for Spring. Did I just give myself metaphorical advice?

P.s.s. I'm not really one for uniformity, but EVERYONE in Brooklyn NY was wearing these style of pants: wide-leg crops. So if bandwagons are your thing, hop on board. Seriously though, I love wide-leg anything, and the crop on these are perfect for Spring and Summer.

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